Final Research Paper: Aggression Among Preschoolers
Introduction:
In this research paper, we will take a look at aggression among preschoolers. We
will be looking at observations of a three-year girl who is showing aggressive behavior
at home and school. We will also dive into research that explains why this happens,
how to spot the events leading up to the behavior, and what we can do to help correct
the behavior. In this first portion of our research, we will take a closer look at
observation notes and get to know our new friend a little better.
Observation Notes:
● Happy when first waking up. Excited for a new day!
● Talkative but small speech problem (some words are not understandable)
● Enjoys playing and being creative
● Does not sit for very long
● High energy
● Likes to be in control ( when playing she tells you word for word what she wants
you to say and will get frustrated if you do not do so)
● Has older sister that she typically plays with (a little over 4 years older)
● Big sister did not say what she wanted her to say
● Three year old gets frustrated and starts yelling
● Three-year-old hits sister when sister says “ I don’t have to say what you say!”
● Older sister cries
● Three-year-old cries
● Three year old becomes frustrated
● Tries to keep going after sister by biting or hitting
● Begins to turn frustration at adult that intervenes in situation
● Adult tries to talk to three year old calmly
● At first, does not work and toddler continues to show frustrations emotional and
physically
● Adult has child take deep breaths and explains that we need to use our words
and not our hands
● Toddler has calmed down and is ready to play again
● Adult asks toddler to apologize to sister
● She half-heartedly apologizes and jumps back into playing
● Plays nicely with sister once again until she takes something that she wanted
● Toddler goes to bite and hit once again
● Same process of temper tantrum unfolds
● Toddler put in time out this time for choices
● Toddler screams and “fake cries” while sitting in time out
● Frustrated, toddler knocks over or throws anything in reach
● After a minute goes by toddler is asking to go play and begging to apologize to
get out of time out
● Adult tells toddler that she needs to wait the full 3 minutes
● Toddler starts fake crying again
● After another minute toddler finishes fake crying and waits out final minute
● Toddler goes back to play and watching one of her favorite shows Sofia the First
● While child is laying on the couch taking a break from playing, older sister comes
and sits next to her
● Toodler begins to tickle big sister and acting “silly”
● Sister plays back with tickling and laying on toddler
● After few minutes, toddler gets tired of game and tells sister to stop
● Sister does not stop
● Adult steps in and tells sister to stop
● Sister does not stop
● Toddler yells again to stop and sister does not stop
● Toddler bites older sister
● Sister gets upset and angry and hits toddler back
● Toddler cries
● Adult pulls girls apart and puts them both in time out
● After time out they come back together to apologize
● They spend the rest of their time playing separate from each other (children’s’
choice)
Tv Shows Relating to Preschool Aggression:
Llama Llama
In the Netflix show Llama Llama, we meet one of our beloved storybook
characters in cartoon form. This show is geared towards children that range from
toddlers to school-aged children that mainly focus on everyday problems and choices
that children may face. The first episode I watched focuses on Llama and his friends
getting ready for a kickball tournament against teachers and parents. Llama is super
excited until he starts practicing and realizes that he is not good at kicking. He practices
and practices with the help of his friends and family but nothing works. Llama begins to
get upset and no longer wants to be a part of the big game but with encouraging words
from friends, his mom, and grandma, Llama realizes that it is time for him to get
creative. Llama deuces to use his problem-solving skills to help his friends to victory by
being the coach. This episode encourages children to think outside the box to find
solutions to their feelings. The next episode I watched in this series was all about
Llama’s friend Nelly and how she was going through feelings of jealousy toward her little
brother. She felt like her brother was always getting all of the attention and that made
her upset. We see through the episode that Nelly gets jealous and begins to act out
because she has a hard time with not feeling heard. Throughout the show, her parents
encourage her when she is being kind and tells her all the time that she is a great big
sister. Nelly needs to be consistently reminded that she is important too in a positive
way and be reminded that she is loved. In both of these episodes, we see that not only
family but also friends are a great source of encouragement when it comes to
reinforcing good behavior. Both episodes gave examples of frustration and how to deal
with it.
Super Monsters:
Next, we will take a look at another Netflix show called Super Monsters. In this
show, we see another example of content that focuses on children identifying their
emotions and frustrations and dealing with them in a positive and effective way. Drac is
excited and eager to learn a new dance at school to surprise his teacher with all the
other little monsters, but he quickly becomes nervous when he realizes he’s not
catching on as fast as everyone else. Instead of working harder on his dance moves,
Drac begins to fly and causes a bit of mayhem distracting the other little monsters. We
see Drac begin to act out when he feels overwhelmed and a bit helpless but his friends
quickly come to his aide and give him words of encouragement. The monsters help
Drac learn the moves and eventually help his confidence. This shows how positive
reinforcement and practice can help children accomplish things that may seem
frustrating and impossible.
Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood
This show is so incredible at explaining to children the feelings that they are
feeling, the anger that may come out of those feelings, and what exactly to do when
they feel mad! There are multiple episodes on this topic that include real-life problems
children might see like sharing issues, not getting what they want, friends messing up
something that they have made and so many more. Daniel Tiger teaches children that
being mad is okay sometimes and we can do “special” things to help with our anger.
Daniel Tiger also teaches children that “when you feel mad and want to roar, take a
deep breath, and count to four.” This technique is reinforced in many episodes and
songs. We see that children also learn that sometimes we can get mad at the people
that we love (friends and family) and that’s okay! Children are encouraged to accept
their feelings and talk out what is bothering them in a calm manner. This show does a
great job of giving so many different scenarios and in each scenario, children are taught
to take a deep breath and count to ten. They are then expected to talk it out, but most
importantly they are taught that even though you count to four, the anger will start to go
away but won’t always go away right away! Daniel Tiger is by far my favorite show when
it comes to teaching children what to do with their feelings and how to control the urge
to hit or bite another person.
Research Essay:
Aggression in a toddler to preschooler is so common that many accept this as a
phase that every child goes through in their life, but in reality it is a cry for help. Children
in this age group are not always able to share how they feel, know how to process their
emotions or are just frustrated. As adults, our first instinct is to tell the child “no” and
place them in time out when they act out in a negative or physical way, but really we
need to take a step back and figure out why the child is acting in this way. We are going
to look a little deeper into why a child may act out physically, what we as adults need to
do and techniques to help children deal with the feelings and emotions that they have
that they may not be able to understand.
First, and the most important question is why? Why do such sweet and snuggly
little people want to act out in such a terrible way? The answer is, emotions and
frustration. Children at this age are learning about everything in their world, including
how to handle situations that they are in that may not be stress free. As adults, we are
able to feel emotions, identify them and then think of a way to process them without
hitting someone or biting them. If I am in traffic and someone cuts me off, I am angry for
a second and annoyed but I don’t up-end the other car or get out screaming. A child on
the other hand does not know exactly how to get across that they are angry or even
how to process that feeling. According to a research journal “It is understood from the
results of the study of children unable to express their various emotions in
accordance with the social context, anger in particular, that they are at risk of
showing aggression “, this means that these children are acting out physically
because they are not able to get their emotions across and are unsure of
techniques to communicate what is bothering them. When a child does not know
how to say how they feel they may act out in the only way they know to show that they
are not happy and that is hitting, biting, snatching, etc. Children that also have a hard
time with speech problems may also fall into this category. Hitting quickly gets the
attention of those around the child and shows that the child is not happy with the current
situation and needs it to be fixed.
As adults, we sometimes can get caught up in the heat of the moment and begin
to show panic like behavior when a child has physically harmed another child. Acting in
this way can escalate the situation and might even make things worse. On top of a child
crying from being hurt, and the other crying from being in trouble and it is hard to have
the children listen when you may be trying to yell over top of them. According to
Nemours, parents and adults should remain calm. Sometimes this means taking a
second yourself to take a deep breath and compose yourself before entering the
situation. All parties involved in a situation like this are experiencing high emotions and
taking that deep breath can help calm things down. This is a great technique to even
teach the little ones that are having trouble with being physical with their emotions.
Nemours tells us too “Remaining as calm as possible will help resolve the situation
more quickly.” This will help end the confrontation to help children move on to
something else that will be more positive.
Finally, what can we do to help children with these dreaded emotions? There are
many parenting sites, studies, TV shows and articles that give us many techniques to
help children deal with emotions that they may not be familiar with. One technique that
we can teach our little ones is something that we talked about in the previous
paragraph. Taking a deep breath will help children calm their feelings and bodies so that
they can talk to you about what happened. Children should also be taught basic words
like mad, sad, scared, etc to help communicate the things that are possibly feeling. A
big thing and something that I find myself saying all the time with the little girls that I
nanny is “use your words”. Even if a child can’t express exactly their emotions, they can
still say “I don’t like when…” this will help the adult and other children understand what
happened that caused a negative behavior. Another thing that I recently learned about
doing this project that I never thought of before, was changing the TV shows that a child
may be watching! I never thought that a show could cause more aggression in a child or
could affect the way they handle a situation but after reading an article that talked about
violent children shows, I completely understand now. Small children, especially toddlers
and preschoolers, imitate how they handle things. We may watch a show and think “oh
that’s silly and my child knows that is not how to handle things” but in reality they are
being taught that those behaviors are expected and even thought to be “funny”
sometimes. By switching up the shows a child watches, we can change the way they
may handle a situation. A great example would be Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood! This
show offers steps to take when a child is angry and even gives examples of how to deal
with the things that make us mad or sad.
Overall, children at this age feel a lot of emotions on a daily basis and it is our
job as adults and teachers to teach them how to regulate these feelings that they may
not be familiar with. We need to show them through examples and techniques on how
to deal with the feelings that are inside of them. Children do not always hit or bite out of
maliciousness but out of frustration and anger. We need to give children the tools to
help get through this time in their lives where they may feel little control and help set
their mental state for the future. These techniques and skills are something that will help
them daily as they grow up and face new obstacles and situations.
References:
Kris, D. (2018, October 3). “It’s Okay to Get Mad”: Helping Kids Express Anger Without
Hitting or Biting | Parenting Tips & Advice. PBS KIDS for Parents.
https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/its-okay-to-get-mad-helping-kids-express-anger-
without-hitting-or-biting
Ersan, C. (2019). Physical aggression, relational aggression and anger in preschool
children: The mediating role of emotion regulation. The Journal of General Psychology,
147(1), 18–42. https://doi.org/10.1080/00221309.2019.1609897
Bergin, C. C., & Bergin, D. A. (2017). Child and Adolescent Development in Your
Classroom, Topical Approach. In Child and Adolescents Development in Your
Classroom (3rd ed., pp. 312–315). Cengage Learning.
O’Donnell PsyD, L. (2018, June). Biting (for Parents) – Nemours KidsHealth. Kids Health
From Nemours. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/stop-biting.html
https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/its-okay-to-get-mad-helping-kids-express-anger-without-hitting-or-biting
https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/its-okay-to-get-mad-helping-kids-express-anger-without-hitting-or-biting
https://doi.org/10.1080/00221309.2019.1609897
https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/stop-biting.html
Jaslow, R. (2013, February 18). Swapping violent shows for educational TV may boost
children’s behavior. CBS News. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/swapping-violent-
shows-for-educational-tv-may-boost-childrens-behavior/
Elgersma, C. (2020, July 31). Help Preschoolers Handle Strong Emotions. Common
Sense Media. https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/help-preschoolers-handle-
strong-emotions
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/swapping-violent-shows-for-educational-tv-may-boost-childrens-behavior/
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/swapping-violent-shows-for-educational-tv-may-boost-childrens-behavior/
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