Basics of Business Etiquette
Building Relational Capital
Importance of E-image
Relational Mapping
Overview – Module 3
Relational capital is earned, similar to money in which it is: valuable and necessary, takes continual effort to maintain and obtain; and the more you have, the better off you are, especially if an emergency arises. The principle difference between money and relational capital is the latter is intangible.
You know you have relational capital when it’s 5pm on a Friday, your boss hands you a large project due Monday at 7am. Immediately a few colleagues roll up their sleeves to help you make the deadline AND have a weekend.
You have reputational capital when, through an oversight on your part, your customers have to move to a temporary location which also slows down their service. Instead of angry finger pointing their responses are “Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us;”
1
Most reliable GPS in building relational capital
Neutralizes the prestige factor
Helps repair broken relations
Business Etiquette
In 1922 EP wrote a tiny blue book: Etiquette, 3rd national best sellar non-fiction second to the Bible WHY? Times Irevolution, swarms of people coming in for jobs…they greet each other differentlyin, eat, entertain in ways which were foreign. EP among NY elite (friends did NOT want her to publish guide on how to interact) she did and it became famous to this day….
2
Business Etiquette Success
3
“We are getting less than 40 hours of work from a large number of our KC-based EMPLOYEES. The parking lot is sparsely used at 8am; likewise at 5pm. As managers – you either do not know what your EMPLOYEES are doing; or YOU do not CARE. You have created expectations on the work effort which allowed this to happen inside Cerner, creating a very unhealthy environment. In either case, you have a problem and you will fix it or I will replace you. You have two weeks. Tick, tock.”
— The New York Times, April 5, 2001
© 2013 Rockwood Communications Counsel, Inc. www.rockwoodcc.com
4
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Email Mismanagement Fiasco
4
Obviously this internal memo – public which caused heads to roll
Affects chances of being promoted, nominated, invited, recommended
or retained.
Damages credibility and likeability.
Alienates your supporters during rainy days.
5
Cost of Rudeness
5
It’s not just if you decide to do it, it’s HOW you decide to do it that matters.
Bruno
Reference: Emily Post Institute
EP vacationed at family lake home next to ‘Yappy’ constant annoyance. Bruno decides he’s had enough…family notices quiet…looks around and they can see Bruno with Yappy…lake…
6
Are Americans rude today than 20 or 3 years ago?
89%
8%
On a frequent/occasional basis, do you encounter people rudely using their cell phone?
Have you used your cell phone in a loud or annoying manner in the past few months?
69%
AP/IPSOS Manners Poll
These figures are dated but show….
7
It’s easier to see rudeness in others than in yourself.
Rudeness isn’t always intentional.
Perspective Matters
8
Rudeness
8
Building Relational Capital:
Think before acting.
Make choices that build relationships.
Do it sincerely.
How Business Etiquette Works
9
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Pause before you act for you surely will take action…who you sit next to, what you wear, what you will say.
Choose the path which sustains …..Bruno had a choice to end things or sustain… Now what is EASY for YOU
Must be authentic. The first two points mean nothing if you cannot be honest. Think..a pushy salesperson ..you’re less inclined to believe their sincerity
9
You Are the Expert
You’ve just finished a major presentation to a committee of five people at the prospect’s offices…
10
Reference: Emily Post Institute
You would:
Write a letter to the committee as a whole.
Send an email to the chair of the committee and ask her to share it with the other members.
Write a thank you note to each committee member and send it by mail.
Call the committee chair the next day and thank her.
11
Reference: Emily Post Institute
You Are the Expert
True story: Sent out announcements for new business in SoCal… call from SF recruiter. Puzzled…why not get local help? There were dozens offering the same services as mine. “You were the only one who took the time to write me a personal note.” Led to $27K retainer….never doubt power of extra steps to show your sincerity.
11
Perspective Matters
Before you open your mouth:
Appearance
Actions
Words
12
Count for more than 70%
They don’t even know your name. Imagine on one side of glass wall: You see people milling about at a work related event. You will immediately draw assumptions based on clothes, how the other person is listening to what is being said, etc.
12
Appearance
Actions
Words
When the factors are working,
the focus turns
to content.
13
Factors that Influence
a Relationship
13
Neat
Not torn or sloppy
Not wrinkled
Clean
Washed, no odor
No stains
Your person
No body odor
No bad breath
Well groomed
Tips:
Not too: tight, short, low cut, loud, high, sheer
Keep it understated
Minimal jewelry
Dress for the situation
Minimal accents
Tattoos and piercings
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Appearance Counts
14
COMMUNICATION STRATEGISTS | ROCKWOODCC.COM
Appearance – X
Interpretations of
business casual
Remember perceptions are drawn before you say hello…
15
16
Actual Business Casual
Professionalism on the Outside
= Professional Work Product
16
Actions
Body language
Minimizing others
Nervous habits
17
© Rockwood Communications Counsel, Inc.
www.rockwoodcc.com
Cell phones, eating, seating No eye contact
17
Avoid:
Slang expressions;
incorrect English
Swearing
Insider chatter
18
Words
Talking about things in front of others which only you and one other know about
18
COMMUNICATION STRATEGISTS | ROCKWOODCC.COM
Words
“Every other word was ‘friggin’ this or that… we can’t have him around clients.”
“We were showing the new person around… within 5 minutes we knew she was divorced, vegan and didn’t like her last job.”
“Chris’ party … Sara was there from accounting.”
Word Impact
Example
19
“My wife and I were invited to a golf charity. An attorney in our group got so mad that he swore repeatedly. I decided right there, I would never work with that firm.”
– EL POLLO LOCO
“One of the senior partners checked his phone under the table at our meeting. That showed me we needed him more than he needed us.” – DRYER’S GRAND ICE CREAM
“Whether it is the janitor who takes out your trash or a CEO, they should be treated in the same respectful manner.” – ELLISON
20
What Decision Makers Say
Always mute your phone before meetings or MANAGE EXPECTATIONS “I am expecting an urgent call, if it comes I must take it” move away- do not be SEEN or Heard
20
Please = A request
Sans “please” = A demand, an
Thank you = Appreciation and Respect
Sans “thank you” = Expected, taken for granted
21
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Demand vs. Request
No one likes being bossed around….even if you are NOT in a supervisory position but you make more than someone else…ALWAYS express appreciation. Management is 3x more likely to offend because of overlooking things like please and thank you
21
AP/IPSOS Manners Poll
22
Introductions
22
COMMUNICATION STRATEGISTS | ROCKWOODCC.COM
Which Signal Sent?
Micro-impressions …in the first photo the handshake is insincere….hand over hand – I am sorry for your loss…or feigned friendship…
23
First impressions can make or break you.
The introduction is your opportunity to make a strong first impression.
How you handle yourself gives strong clues about your confidence and professionalism.
24
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Why Introductions Matter
People are attracted to confident people….Zoom to show…v-grip, etc.
24
Introductions – Four steps:
Stand up.
Look the person in the eye and smile.
Firm grip handshake.
Say your name and repeat their name.
Confidence is key.
25
Reference: Emily Post Institute
High Impact Moment
Talk first to the person:
More important
You would like to honor
“Gabrielle, I would like to introduce
our grant writer, Austin Ray to you. Austin, this is Gabrielle Daniels.”
26
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Order of Introduction
Your client is hosting an appreciation event for his clients. Liz Patterson, the biggest client is coming. You’ve never met her but everyone talks about “Liz.” You are introduced, her name tag says Elizabeth Patterson. The person who introduces you says, “Liz, I would like you to meet Lisa Grant our attorney.”
How do you respond?
27
Reference: Emily Post Institute
You’re the Expert
“It is a pleasure meeting you…”
Liz
Elizabeth
Ms. Patterson
Liz Patterson
28
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Etiquette Quiz
Admit your predicament
Apologize
Move on
29
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Forgetting Someone’s Name
It happens!
29
30
A breathing person always has priority over any cell phone. Period.
Ask, “is this a good time?” and respect the answer.
Manage expectations—if you HAVE to take a call, let the other person know.
Walk away to not be seen or heard.
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Cell Phones
30
Being on time is a measure of respect
Being late is not an indicator that you are very busy or important
Being late:
Shows you are a disorganized person
Shows that you don’t respect the people you are meeting with
When you are late, you start off on the wrong foot by having to apologize
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Being on Time
Emily Post this was #1 biggest offense with her…Consider akin to asking for a favor when you have not earned ANY relational capital yet!
31
Etiquette
=
Manners + Principles
32
Reference: Emily Post Institute
The “Compass”
32
33
Manners
What to do.
What to expect others to do.
Reference: Emily Post Institute
33
Manners vs. Principles
What to do when there is no manner.
How to resolve relationship situations.
34
Reference: Emily Post Institute
34
How to answer a telephone.
How to introduce yourself.
How to use a fork.
35
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Examples of Manners
35
36
Manners
Time sensitive
Vary between cultures
Principles
Timeless
Cross cultural boundaries
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Manners vs. Principles
36
Guiding Principle
Anticipate Needs.
Exceed Expectations.
37
Reference: Emily Post Institute
37
Example:
Shaking Hands vs. Bowing
The Manner differs culturally.
The Principle crosses cultural boundaries.
38
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Manners vs. Principles
38
Consideration
Thinking, empathy
Respect
Look at your options to determine if each one
grows rather than hurts the relationship
Honesty
Acting sincerely, being truthful
39
Reference: Emily Post Institute
The Principles
The principles guide you always….they should look familiar
39
Consideration
Thinking, empathy
Respect
Look at your options to determine if
each one grows rather than hurts the
relationship
Honesty
Acting sincerely, being truthful
Think Before Acting
Make Choices that Build Relationships
Do It Sincerely
40
Reference: Emily Post Institute
The Principles –
Etiquette in Action
Remember Bruno…choose the path which keeps things intact, even if harder on you. Writing personal notes, being genuine. Honest
40
AP/IPSOS Manners Poll
Handling Difficult Situations
41
Reference: Emily Post Institute
This five-step process by the EPI has worked wonders for generations
41
42
Step 1: Consideration
Step 2: Solutions/Responses
Step 3: Respect
Step 4: Honesty
Step 5: Refine Response
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Five-Step Method
42
43
At a meeting you notice a person sneeze into his hands. Five minutes later your boss brings the person over to introduce him to you. He extends his hand to shake hands.
What would you do?
Reference: Emily Post Institute
What if…? Sneeze
43
44
Consideration
Who is affected?
How are they affected?
You: Unsure, nervous
The person: Confused, embarrassed
Your boss: Surprised, angry
Your company: Negatively affected
Reference: Emily Post Institute
What if…? Sneeze
44
45
Solutions
Don’t shake hands.
Shake hands.
Escape.
“I’m so embarrassed. I just sneezed on my hand. As soon as I get back from the restroom…”
“Please excuse me for not shaking hands. I’ve got a bad cold and don’t want to spread it.”
Reference: Emily Post Institute
What if…? Sneeze
45
46
Respect
Don’t shake hands.
Escape.
Shake hands.
Hard on you. Works for the others.
Ok for you: you temporarily avoid problem. Rude to others.
May work for you And the others immediately. Problem remains.
Reference: Emily Post Institute
What if…? Sneeze
46
47
Honesty
Don’t shake hands.
Escape.
Shake hands.
Hard on you. Easy on the others. Ultimately it works best for you.
Causes more trouble than it solves.
Doesn’t really resolve the situation.
Reference: Emily Post Institute
What if…? Sneeze
47
48
Refine as necessary
You decide that after shaking hands you will immediately excuse yourself to go to the restroom and wash your hands.
Reference: Emily Post Institute
What if…? Sneeze
48
49
“Sometimes, when I go over to Tom to ask him a question, he is reading a report and making notes while he talks to me. The other day, his computer signaled that an email arrived. He clicked on it and started to read it while I was in mid-sentence.”
Do you think this is rude?
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Annoying Office Issues
If you said Yes you are wrong. It is clear Tom was engaged. Ask is this a goodtime? Don’t say it will only take a minute unless it really is under 59 seconds. Better to ask “Let me know when you can give me a few minutes”
49
50
e-Image
The Virtual You
How you come across in emails, posts is without benefit of your smile, your voice… defaults to negative. CEO example could not understand why company was getting frosty treatment from KY client — finally checked his emails…they came across rude, abrasive and ungrateful.
50
Topic Goes Here
“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.”
–Warren Buffet
140 characters will do it just as well…and faster.
51
The Bulletin Board Rule
If you can’t put it on a bulletin board for anyone to read, don’t email it, text it, IM it, leave it on a voice mail, tweet it, or blog it.
52
Reference: Emily Post Institute
The Bulletin Board Rule
52
Don’t use email or texting to avoid a difficult situation.
Pick up the phone or visit someone in person if email or texting becomes tense or strained.
In the absence of facial expressions or tone of voice, interpretation defaults to the negative.
53
Reference: Emily Post Institute
When words alone
are your image
COMMUNICATION STRATEGISTS | ROCKWOODCC.COM
Communications
COMMUNICATION STRATEGISTS | ROCKWOODCC.COM
Communications
COMMUNICATION STRATEGISTS | ROCKWOODCC.COM
Communications
Tense
Awkward
Complex
Needs
Face to Face
Call
56
Example: Poor E-Image
57
From: XXXXXXXXX
Sent: Thursday, March 14, 2013 12:50 PM
To: Crystal Rockwood
Subject: administrative help; Seal Beach
Hi Crystal!
Happy to help in any manner you need. I live in Rancho, so any virtual work you need I am good to go. I have been doing VA work for over 5 years. My cell is (XXX) XXX-XXXX.
Looking forward to hearing from you 🙂
Susie 🙂
Sent from my iPhone
Hi XX,
The charity event you hosted was wonderful, I hope you are pleased with the feedback.
On a side matter, do you handle water rights? This is tied to a farm purchase in Fresno County and a colleague is looking for a water lawyer familiar with agriculture issues. I don’t think this is your area but just thought I would double check.
Thanks again for the fun reception.
Crystal Rockwood
58
Email Example:
Building Rapport
To: Crystal Rockwood
Cc: XX
Subject: RE: water lawyer;
No. We do not do water law and I do not know anyone who does.
59
Reply: Bad E-image
60
Relational Capital
Relational capital is earned, similar to money in which it is: valuable and necessary, takes continual effort to maintain and obtain; and the more you have, the better off you are, especially if an emergency arises. The principle difference between money and relational capital is the latter is intangible.
You know you have relational capital when it’s 5pm on a Friday, your boss hands you a large project due Monday at 7am. Immediately a few colleagues roll up their sleeves to help you make the deadline AND have a weekend.
You have reputational capital when, through an oversight on your part, your customers have to move to a temporary location which also slows down their service. Instead of angry finger pointing their responses are “Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us;”
60
Personal connection
How do they respond when you ask for a favor? Extra help? A late night emergency call?
You built trust in the good times and the bad
They’ve learned you are reliable because of how you handled problems/issues/complaints in the past
61
Relational Capital
61
More company/entity based
Builds up over multiple positive experiences (even negative situations turn positive)
Shared values, causes, or perceived image can boost reputational capital
62
Reputational Capital
You forgive little oversights/ roll with the punches… you forgive oversights and mistakes because they respond well and make up for the error; trusted the leadership to have a plan, they trusted them with their KIDS! Leadership had proven themselves trustworthy, diligent, etc.)
How X handled a mistake… (example? Refund for recall? Getting an upgrade in a hotel after losing your reservation? Etc.)
Shared values example: TOMs shoes donates to developing countries… people purchase to support that cause… the APPLE vs. PC commercials made Apple seem like the artsy/cool alternative to PC’s and integrated into trends
62
63
Social
Benefits of Relational &
Reputational Capital
How X handled a mistake… (example? Refund for recall? Getting an upgrade in a hotel after losing your reservation? Etc.)
Shared values example: TOMs shoes donates to developing countries… people purchase to support that cause… the APPLE vs. PC commercials made Apple seem like the artsy/cool alternative to PC’s and integrated into trends
63
PR Fitness: Civic Capital Network
Law Firm
Attorney
Attorney
Attorney
Orange
Costa Mesa
Irvine
Mayor’s Asst.
Developer
Segerstrom
Chapman
City Council Member
Irvine
Vans
School District
Alum Board
Non Profit Board
Faith Community
PR Fitness: Civic
Capital Network
How can you leverage what you don’t know exists? This is where relational mapping comes in…interview your ambassasdors first and as time/resources allow…others. Find out who knows who…LinkedIn one measure to an extent…ask for introductions, invite to events, include in charity work, etc. Relational maps take time…true resource integration is finding out who knows who and how best to align resources for mutual benefit…should be institionalized…incumbent on marketing (HR won’t likely) to do a ‘brain dump’ on new hires. You will not know unless you ask.
64
Consider the key players at the city/local government level
Civic Network Sample
Chart 1. CCAF Civic/Charity/Arts/ Faith communities
65
Vertical Media Example
MIA chart: Media Industries and Affiliations
Consider local media, industry magazines, relevant blogs/sites/forums, journals, etc.
66
67
Sincerity Anchors Credibility
To build and leverage relational, reputational capital. You need to be REAL Truthful Authentic…Guy Kawasaki is on the right side…
67
Delivering a high-quality product at a reasonable price is not enough anymore.
That’s why we have developed 5 beneficial guarantees that will make your experience with our service enjoyable, easy, and safe.
You have to be 100% sure of the quality of your product to give a money-back guarantee. This describes us perfectly. Make sure that this guarantee is totally transparent.
Read moreEach paper is composed from scratch, according to your instructions. It is then checked by our plagiarism-detection software. There is no gap where plagiarism could squeeze in.
Read moreThanks to our free revisions, there is no way for you to be unsatisfied. We will work on your paper until you are completely happy with the result.
Read moreYour email is safe, as we store it according to international data protection rules. Your bank details are secure, as we use only reliable payment systems.
Read moreBy sending us your money, you buy the service we provide. Check out our terms and conditions if you prefer business talks to be laid out in official language.
Read more